Those first few months after my son came home were very difficult. There were a lot of ups and downs and changing meds, etc. It was a roller coaster. In some ways we are still on a roller coaster but in others we are on a more even keel. Of course, that can all depend on the day when you are dealing with a child with a chemical imbalance.
Most of this year has found me wondering what I would come home to. His moods would change so fast, it gave me whiplash sometimes. I never quite knew from one minute to the next how he would react or respond in any given situation. I lived on eggshells for quite sometime. I still disciplined, I still taught truth, but I lived in fear of what I would see next. I can’t really describe to you how it feels to watch your child live through Bipolar.
Lately he has been on a more even keel, except when the hormones hit hard. And bless his little 13 year old heart, they can hit hard. In those moments, I try not to go back to the fear, but instead, I try to remember that he’s having a flash of hormones. That’s hard because I immediately flash back to the early days of this diagnosis (only a few months back….).
This past two weeks as we have been getting used to a new school program, it’s been a struggle. We’ve had many a blow out and it has been a little exhausting. This week we seem to be getting more used to what we are doing and how our schedule will work.
Today, my son seems to be sweet, gentle, and helpful and I am very grateful.
It’s a day by day thing…..